According to the Huffington Post at least 30% of women walk down the aisle to marry Mr. Wrong and they know it beforehand! This information was gathered from over 1000 divorced women. Not one of which was still married.
Apparently, among GG’s, it is thought better to be married to the wrong guy than to be alone. I find this notion interesting because it is also quite common within the trans community. For any one seeking and hoping to land even a casual LTR this ought to sound eerily familiar. I know it does to me!
I also happen to wonder if one of the causes for that particular train of thinking among GG's is due in part to the societal conditioning (or demand) for the birthing of children? We all know society makes many demands on all of us and some of these demands are simply implied while others are made into laws. Each demand is unique and some actually silly, yet, they're still made and we surely comply!
I’m a human and I like to think I'm a smart human, as I grew up I paid close attention to my own social red flags and my own confused gut feelings about my own sexual orientation. I knew I was born a male but I also knew I felt very female. My result was that I became popular with certain boys for all the wrong reasons.
I’m sure there are those who can identify with the idea that any “special activities" were done in strict secrecy and some of these activities involved multiple boys. They also involved other male body fluids. I know I was one of the lucky ones, I didn't catch anything!
Speaking from another personal experience, a divorce is not easy even when YOU are the one serving the papers. In my case it went the other way round and it was very expensive, very painful and it adversely affected me. I completely lost my entire family but the children were spared the sordid details.
For we human animals, no matter how you slice it, living alone is a two edged sword. On the one hand it can be its own reward and on the other it can be its own punishment. In the end I guess that really depends on who you live with and how they treat you.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Just touching base
I haven't put anything on-line in a few days so here's one of my latest thoughts!
As a T-girl I'm judged by my singular moments many times and I'm well aware I'm also in a kind of deception mode. I can easily tell the guy likes me but when he's finished and has to leave I fully understand why he doesn't wish to take me shopping! In a single word, polite and civil society simply won't tolerate that!
OK, maybe that was more than just a single word.
Anyway, I feel that view is extremely flawed but very real! Call me a deftest but I also doubt that view will change within my life time.
Still, I'll keep being me!
As a T-girl I'm judged by my singular moments many times and I'm well aware I'm also in a kind of deception mode. I can easily tell the guy likes me but when he's finished and has to leave I fully understand why he doesn't wish to take me shopping! In a single word, polite and civil society simply won't tolerate that!
OK, maybe that was more than just a single word.
Anyway, I feel that view is extremely flawed but very real! Call me a deftest but I also doubt that view will change within my life time.
Still, I'll keep being me!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
A News Item I found on-line
I know I'm a loner when it comes to being a Cross Dresser but is this a total fake? Or am I just totally late on picking this up?
I recently found an article on-line about experts hailing a pair of drug trials involving heterosexual couples in Africa as a breakthrough in AIDS prevention. I found the article interesting.
The studies show that taking a pill containing merely one or two drugs each day can or may decrease the transmission of HIV by as much as three-quarters. Studies also showed that no "significant" side effects were observed in either trial and, finally, it is claimed that the pills only cost about $.25 cents each to make.
In many ways I was absolutely shocked to learn about the cost of production!
The perception is that these drugs are really toxic but according to Dr. Thomas J. Coates, an infectious disease specialist at UCLA's Geffen School of Medicine, "They are not. The current generation is really quite safe."
Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of the CDC's Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, said the agency would immediately begin working with other public health groups to establish guidelines for using the drugs prophylactically in this country. Physicians should wait for those guidelines before prescribing the drugs, he said, but if they believe it is imperative to do it, they should adhere to the guidelines previously announced for using them with gay men.
I don't know about you but when I read these comments I got a cheek to cheek smile across my face like the cat who ate the canary! The more I read the more exciting I found this study!
Dr. Robert M. Grant of UC San Francisco's Gladstone Institute of Virology and Immunology speculated that the drugs might work even better in the United States than they did in Africa. He said, "people in this country are more accustomed to using pills for prevention and thus more likely to take the drugs regularly."
I know he can count me in on that sentiment!
Actually, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm very much the femme, still D&D free, retired from the US government and I don't need to produce lots of income to get by. While not great, by some standards I've made it! I admit that when I was young things were very different for guys like me. James Brown reminded us that this IS a man's world. I simply learned how to be sensible and very discreet!
News of these pills is great to learn about but, like I said, I'm just one of the lucky ones anyway.
I recently found an article on-line about experts hailing a pair of drug trials involving heterosexual couples in Africa as a breakthrough in AIDS prevention. I found the article interesting.
The studies show that taking a pill containing merely one or two drugs each day can or may decrease the transmission of HIV by as much as three-quarters. Studies also showed that no "significant" side effects were observed in either trial and, finally, it is claimed that the pills only cost about $.25 cents each to make.
In many ways I was absolutely shocked to learn about the cost of production!
The perception is that these drugs are really toxic but according to Dr. Thomas J. Coates, an infectious disease specialist at UCLA's Geffen School of Medicine, "They are not. The current generation is really quite safe."
Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of the CDC's Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, said the agency would immediately begin working with other public health groups to establish guidelines for using the drugs prophylactically in this country. Physicians should wait for those guidelines before prescribing the drugs, he said, but if they believe it is imperative to do it, they should adhere to the guidelines previously announced for using them with gay men.
I don't know about you but when I read these comments I got a cheek to cheek smile across my face like the cat who ate the canary! The more I read the more exciting I found this study!
Dr. Robert M. Grant of UC San Francisco's Gladstone Institute of Virology and Immunology speculated that the drugs might work even better in the United States than they did in Africa. He said, "people in this country are more accustomed to using pills for prevention and thus more likely to take the drugs regularly."
I know he can count me in on that sentiment!
Actually, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm very much the femme, still D&D free, retired from the US government and I don't need to produce lots of income to get by. While not great, by some standards I've made it! I admit that when I was young things were very different for guys like me. James Brown reminded us that this IS a man's world. I simply learned how to be sensible and very discreet!
News of these pills is great to learn about but, like I said, I'm just one of the lucky ones anyway.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Calie's Uncorking of the Demons
I read Calie’s blog called Uncorking the Demons and immediately identified with the character Ruth in the movie Normal! That caused me to think about my own transition ordeals. I didn't suffer in the exactly the same ways as Ruth but I had my moments! I certainly lost my fair share of jobs!
If memory serves, I grew up as a part of a very “normal” family because I simply didn't know any better. We weren’t so dysfunctional, although love for each other was in extremely short supply, but I lived with it anyway. I thought every family was just like mine!
When I was as young as 9 or 10 my mother would warn me about boys who might want just one thing from a boy like me! I didn’t understand her. She would often straighten my hair and tell me I looked pretty but I needed to be very careful, I always got the biggest kiss and the strongest hug from her. I was confused by her coded warnings but quickly learned exactly what she was talking about! It’s true, boys will be boys and the more the merrier!
I became extremely popular, but as a girl not as a boy! Some boys would dress me up and take their turns with me. What did I know?
I told my mother about these boys and she insisted I not tell my father. I have no reason to think she did. My older sister began quietly calling me the family fag. She asked me if I let boys shoot their “jizz” in my mouth or on my face. I thought that was a normal question and when I told her it depended on the situation, she asked me if I liked being their nasty little bitch. I didn’t understand her question, I didn't answer. She took off all her clothes one day and told me to come into her room and look at her naked body. She said, “Take a real good look at my pussy! Queers like you don’t have one of these!" She told me to get out of her room and called me a little fagot!
My brother said I was maybe just a hermaphrodite. I looked that word up at school and was relieved to learn he felt that way about me. In retrospect, I wonder if he was perhaps struggling with his own sexuality?
I was chastised by my family in many ways, I haven’t had contact with them for over 45 years! I knew about my father’s and my mother’s passing but missed them both. When I think about them I do cry.
I tried to go straight for the sake of society. Mother said the marriage wouldn’t last long and she was to be proven right!
My wife, in the biological family I created, caught me dressed. She said I made a very ugly woman! She was angry and asked me, “What kind of man does this for other men?” I was in a kind of denial and shock and could only hang my head in shame, I had no answers for her.
She told me to take off everything I was wearing (like my mother did!) And she took pictures of me as I undressed. She told me to go wash the make-up off my face and, while I was in the shower, she burned my entire outfit in the bar-b-que!
Many months passed incident free but I found myself sneaking out as a female. My wife was supposed to be out of town but I was caught totally by surprise when she returned unannounced. I was in full make up and dressed like a whore. I was also well into performing oral sex on another man! While putting his pants back on the guy looked down at me and asked if we could meet some place so I could finish! I couldn’t believe it, I told him to just leave! My wife told me to gather up my things and get out. We soon got divorced.
I spoke with our children some time later and they said I ran away and abandoned them! They were very angry with me. I tried to explain that while I may have "run away" the abandonment part is NOT true nor is it accurate. I've never turned my back on them! I explained that I created a loving family and keeping that family together for over 30 years is what held me together. I don’t think they bought it.
The more I was away from my family the more I noticed I was reverting to the easiness of womanhood. I was allowing those feelings to take hold of me. I accepted that I was a bit of a queer but I also happened to get much joy from dressing like a female. I seriously doubt my family would’ve approved or been OK with me doing either but maybe I’m wrong.
I honestly did my best. Now I’m alone except for the occasional blog.
If memory serves, I grew up as a part of a very “normal” family because I simply didn't know any better. We weren’t so dysfunctional, although love for each other was in extremely short supply, but I lived with it anyway. I thought every family was just like mine!
When I was as young as 9 or 10 my mother would warn me about boys who might want just one thing from a boy like me! I didn’t understand her. She would often straighten my hair and tell me I looked pretty but I needed to be very careful, I always got the biggest kiss and the strongest hug from her. I was confused by her coded warnings but quickly learned exactly what she was talking about! It’s true, boys will be boys and the more the merrier!
I became extremely popular, but as a girl not as a boy! Some boys would dress me up and take their turns with me. What did I know?
I told my mother about these boys and she insisted I not tell my father. I have no reason to think she did. My older sister began quietly calling me the family fag. She asked me if I let boys shoot their “jizz” in my mouth or on my face. I thought that was a normal question and when I told her it depended on the situation, she asked me if I liked being their nasty little bitch. I didn’t understand her question, I didn't answer. She took off all her clothes one day and told me to come into her room and look at her naked body. She said, “Take a real good look at my pussy! Queers like you don’t have one of these!" She told me to get out of her room and called me a little fagot!
My brother said I was maybe just a hermaphrodite. I looked that word up at school and was relieved to learn he felt that way about me. In retrospect, I wonder if he was perhaps struggling with his own sexuality?
I was chastised by my family in many ways, I haven’t had contact with them for over 45 years! I knew about my father’s and my mother’s passing but missed them both. When I think about them I do cry.
I tried to go straight for the sake of society. Mother said the marriage wouldn’t last long and she was to be proven right!
My wife, in the biological family I created, caught me dressed. She said I made a very ugly woman! She was angry and asked me, “What kind of man does this for other men?” I was in a kind of denial and shock and could only hang my head in shame, I had no answers for her.
She told me to take off everything I was wearing (like my mother did!) And she took pictures of me as I undressed. She told me to go wash the make-up off my face and, while I was in the shower, she burned my entire outfit in the bar-b-que!
Many months passed incident free but I found myself sneaking out as a female. My wife was supposed to be out of town but I was caught totally by surprise when she returned unannounced. I was in full make up and dressed like a whore. I was also well into performing oral sex on another man! While putting his pants back on the guy looked down at me and asked if we could meet some place so I could finish! I couldn’t believe it, I told him to just leave! My wife told me to gather up my things and get out. We soon got divorced.
I spoke with our children some time later and they said I ran away and abandoned them! They were very angry with me. I tried to explain that while I may have "run away" the abandonment part is NOT true nor is it accurate. I've never turned my back on them! I explained that I created a loving family and keeping that family together for over 30 years is what held me together. I don’t think they bought it.
The more I was away from my family the more I noticed I was reverting to the easiness of womanhood. I was allowing those feelings to take hold of me. I accepted that I was a bit of a queer but I also happened to get much joy from dressing like a female. I seriously doubt my family would’ve approved or been OK with me doing either but maybe I’m wrong.
I honestly did my best. Now I’m alone except for the occasional blog.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wow! What can I say?
I'm fresh back from reading some blogs.
I have come to realize the Trans-world has proponents well seated in all camps. I've also come to realize I feel some do more harm than good, they confuse rather than make clear.
Most all blogs have good points with some weak issues of course but some points are just more solid to me while I find others lacking. In the final analysis it's up to me to sift through them and decide which ones I'll believe.
Having said that, I'm greatful for all the bloggers who post about the Trans-situation because no one of rapor seems to want to talk about it yet not one of us can do it alone!
When a blogger attacks a commonly held notion or a unique idea and gives thier impressions they expand my horizons. They make me think and, sometimes, I even change my mind!
I must confess, that while some ideas and arguments enlighten me, others merely cause me to close my mental doors. This is especially true when a blogger attacks another person.
IMHO, it is they who waste their precious time, talent and effort. I've never found any of that to be productive or enlightening and I feel it's a total waste and a crying shame.
I'll keep reading as long as you keep posting! Thanks for feeding my head.
I have come to realize the Trans-world has proponents well seated in all camps. I've also come to realize I feel some do more harm than good, they confuse rather than make clear.
Most all blogs have good points with some weak issues of course but some points are just more solid to me while I find others lacking. In the final analysis it's up to me to sift through them and decide which ones I'll believe.
Having said that, I'm greatful for all the bloggers who post about the Trans-situation because no one of rapor seems to want to talk about it yet not one of us can do it alone!
When a blogger attacks a commonly held notion or a unique idea and gives thier impressions they expand my horizons. They make me think and, sometimes, I even change my mind!
I must confess, that while some ideas and arguments enlighten me, others merely cause me to close my mental doors. This is especially true when a blogger attacks another person.
IMHO, it is they who waste their precious time, talent and effort. I've never found any of that to be productive or enlightening and I feel it's a total waste and a crying shame.
I'll keep reading as long as you keep posting! Thanks for feeding my head.
Towleroad dot com
Just got turned on to Towleroad dot com. The reference mentioned a movie named, Ticked off Trannies with Knives! My friend cited this movie as vengeance at its prettiest!
I read many comments on site and, it's always sad to have a dedication to a movie about a person who was a woman but is now dead, possibly murdered, just because she used to be a man!
And we all know there are many others!
When will humanity learn that just leaving humans to their own ways is NOT a bad thing?
Sad to say, I'm afraid that's not gonna happen in this life-time.
I read many comments on site and, it's always sad to have a dedication to a movie about a person who was a woman but is now dead, possibly murdered, just because she used to be a man!
And we all know there are many others!
When will humanity learn that just leaving humans to their own ways is NOT a bad thing?
Sad to say, I'm afraid that's not gonna happen in this life-time.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
An innocent conversation
As a Transvestite some things about me truly are fake but EVERYTHING about me is NOT!
In all fairness I do certain things which can be called fake but they’re not much different from anything a real woman might do. In my opinion the things I do simply make me look more attractive and more womanly.
I wear make-up. I shave my beard then apply a beard cover and I shave my eyebrows. A really good foundation, three shades of eye make up, blush, bright lipstick, false lashes and a nice wig and my face is complete. I regularly wear false nails, jewelry and perfume.
For clothes, I wear heavily padded bras with falsies, heavily boned corsets to make my waist smaller and modified padded curve enhancing panties under my modified pantyhose. I wear tight slips, sheer pantyhose and contrasting colored panties on the outside of my pantyhose so men can see them. I like high-high heels and my dress or skirt is almost always too short.
Whenever I go out, either as a man or a woman, I do my absolute best to look as sexy as possible. I’m hoping some guy picks me up for a couple hours of wanton “fun” and I promise not to whine!
While everything about me externally can be said to be fake what I feel in my heart can not!
I have an impassioned love for men and have felt it since I was 9 years old! I can not explain it, I just know these feelings are deeply seated within me. Call me crazy but I simply live to please a man.
I don’t believe I can help myself! How about you? Are we so different?
In all fairness I do certain things which can be called fake but they’re not much different from anything a real woman might do. In my opinion the things I do simply make me look more attractive and more womanly.
I wear make-up. I shave my beard then apply a beard cover and I shave my eyebrows. A really good foundation, three shades of eye make up, blush, bright lipstick, false lashes and a nice wig and my face is complete. I regularly wear false nails, jewelry and perfume.
For clothes, I wear heavily padded bras with falsies, heavily boned corsets to make my waist smaller and modified padded curve enhancing panties under my modified pantyhose. I wear tight slips, sheer pantyhose and contrasting colored panties on the outside of my pantyhose so men can see them. I like high-high heels and my dress or skirt is almost always too short.
Whenever I go out, either as a man or a woman, I do my absolute best to look as sexy as possible. I’m hoping some guy picks me up for a couple hours of wanton “fun” and I promise not to whine!
While everything about me externally can be said to be fake what I feel in my heart can not!
I have an impassioned love for men and have felt it since I was 9 years old! I can not explain it, I just know these feelings are deeply seated within me. Call me crazy but I simply live to please a man.
I don’t believe I can help myself! How about you? Are we so different?
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