Sunday, February 26, 2012

I am half my father and half my mother

Growing up I was told by what I can only deem as somewhat surprised family members, that I looked much more like my mother than I did my father.  As I grew up I discovered I took on way more than just my mother's looks.  Thank you, mom, for giving me my hair, hips, and legs!

By most societal impressions, I'm gay.  However I see myself as a "femme" as opposed to a "flame", and I mean no slam or put-down toward flames!  As the expression goes, "Some of my best friends are flames!"

In keeping with my mother's gene input, my penis has been very tiny.  As a result of my being gay, older boys enjoyed making me stand before them naked and watching, and laughing, as I urinated over my testicles and it ran down my closed legs.  I wasn't hurt and I didn't judge them, but I saw them as just being boys.  Today I dress as a woman.

I read somewhere that a person could have a casual thought, or dream, about being an anatomical male or female who has the mind set of the opposite sex.  That person could expresses that opposite fully, but only within the casual thought or dream.

Professional rhetoric states that a person could also "probably" live as a member of the opposite sex, either part-time or full-time, and seek to change his or her original sex through hormonal (HRT) or sex reassignment surgery (SRS).  While these things are absolutely legal, clinically they indicate a problem within that person.


It is my opinion that a person, sexually conflicted or otherwise, is NOT a clinical problem.  A cross sexed person does not need to be fixed, they need to be accepted!

The actual demand for HRT and SRS has been historically dependent upon the patient’s own knowledge of the availability of these expensive procedures, Google has only been a recent invention.  Most "conflicted" souls quietly saved up to go over seas.  The uncanny personal sense, and conviction, of having a cross-sexed mind in need of a matching body usually comes long before such knowledge of HRT and SRS is discovered.

Ergo, the conflict.
Typically, a transsexual learns about themselves during childhood and their feelings of belonging to the other sex is very real.  This leads to confusion in the beginning but thankfully levels out within the person in later years.  Today, he or she is sometimes referred to as gay, I was labeled a queer boy.

The idea for SRS becomes the ideal fix but the age for it varied.  It was parents who felt that age to be pre-pubertal or adolescence.  It may have been delayed until the person was in their young adulthood or early middle age.  The individualist obsession to act out on their sexual feelings without the benefit of HRT or SRS was postponed no longer.

Since their closets were filled with Lycra, Spandex, silks and nylons, it followed that falsies, heels, wigs, make up and mirrors made a surge in their lives.  Men would be next.

Public health statistics, in the United States anyway, do not include figures on sexual related problems, including the incidence of "natural" birth defects of the sex organs. 
Were these babies male or female?  Who had the inclination to care?

Voluntary registration of so-called "sex related problems" would fail today because of the social chastisement or potential penalties of self-disclosure.  Therefore, there are no honest estimates of the incidence of transsexualism. 

It is said that post-operative transsexuals in the United States now number in the thousands but certainly not in the tens of thousands.  To be more succinct, in a total United States population of over 220 million people the condition is not as common as most physicians might like to think.


It is also said that it's not so common, perhaps only 1 to 2 percent of the total population, that every physician should NOT expect to treat several cases in the course of his or her medical career.  Some doctors will actually see no cases and some will miss cases because the patient is too apprehensive (scared) to state his or her situation.

This sexual cross-over has gone on since before the Bible was written and it will continue to the end of time.  Calling the affected person a homo will not change things.

Why can't we all just get along?

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Recently read about this on-line, thought I'd add my spin to it.

The word "express" or the term "expression", with regard to sex, does not appear in any law to date.  Not one, none.  I found that amazing.  Laws prohibiting discrimination, bullying, out-right physical attacks, are all over the place, but not one law says anything based on gender identity or gender expression!

In truth, anti-discrimination laws established in most US cities and states do not protect people from anything because laws do not protect, period!  That would be like saying, more pencils will make smarter people.  I don't think so.

These "anti-discrimination" laws merely add an additional layer to an established law which carries its own fine or sentence and most people who would violate that law already know it but don't care.  Being a guy dressed in a pretty yellow outfit won't stop you from being dragged into an alleyway!

Laws, regardless of how they're worded, will not change a person's heart, nor will they amend an attitude, nor will they positively impact upon negative mind sets.  Barry McGuire said it best; "legislation alone, won't bring integration"  I say, we can not expect everyone to be our advocate.

Consequently, even non-expressive gay people, like myself, face one form or another of discrimination in nearly every aspect of their daily lives.  I know I face discrimination every time my landlord's look changes to a leer because he knows about me.  Every time I go shopping everyone seems to know!  And it makes no difference if I'm dressed as a male or a female.

A new policy was implemented by USAID recently and represents an impressive step forward.  But because the policy is not mandatory and does not have the full force of the law behind it, employees in organizations contracting with USAID have absolutely no remedy if the policy is violated.

Really?  Kudos to USAID of course, I guess, but a policy which is NOT mandatory?  Then what good is it to have it?  To just be able to say you got a policy?

In order to protect the rights of transgendered people, the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) continues to urge President Obama to issue an executive order prohibiting all federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. 

Perhaps the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a first step in that direction, but we are talking about gays and lesbians, not transgendered or cross dressers.  Might I dare add, if you don't pass don't hold your breath for any federal gender expression laws getting on the books any time soon.

Interestingly, the NCTE and NGLTF also released a finding from a report back in 2001, it was entitled; Injustice at Every Turn.  Very nice title.  While this report confirmed the pervasive and severe discrimination faced by transgendered people, it did not investigate the situation for those who "express" as the opposite sex.  I think of this as a kind of discrimination within our own ranks.

Out of a small sample of nearly 6,500 trans persons, the report found they experienced high levels of discrimination in fields of employment, housing, health care, education, legal, and even in their own families!  And you thought is was just you!  The full report can be found online, just Google it.

Apparently, after 10 years at least, absolutely nothing has changed!  LMFAO!

Transgender people may also have additional identities that affect the types of discrimination they experience.  Simply said, experiencing discrimination of any kind adds significantly to psychological stress and often includes people from sundry racial, ethnic, or religious and minority backgrounds.  Often times individuals are left to wonder whether they were discriminated against solely because of their gender identity or gender expression, or was it their socio-cultural identity, their race, or some combination of all of these! 

How can one possibly know?  Do you ask?  Do you dare?

Worth noting, and also according to the study from 2001, while discrimination is quite pervasive for many transgender people, the main intersection of anti-transgender bias and persistence, is also where structural racism is especially severe.  African American transgendered individuals fare far worse than all other transgender populations examined. 

All.  I find that very note worthy.  I also find it appalling!

The report goes on to say, many transgender people, regardless of race, are the targets of hate crimes, but there are simply no laws addressing that issue.  Hate AND Gender Expression.  These transgender persons are simply considered victims of a unique and subtle form of discrimination.  I mean, honestly!  This kind of discrimination can include everything from a disapproving glare, an extremely mean verbal attack, a statement about specific body parts or the typical physical attack.  This kind of discrimination usually produces some level of discomfort.

Say it ain't so!

People who engage in this type of activity are usually nothing less than invasive, usually vulgar, and total brutes.

So, where does it all end?  My guess is when society decides it ends.  I'm not holding my breath.