Thursday, December 22, 2011

Safety is safety, period

What Every Woman Should Know about Personal Safety is no different from what every Transvestite should know.  IMHO safety is safety, period.

Darren and Beth Laur write;  Have you ever felt frightened or intimidated when out walking alone?  Have you ever wondered what you should do if approached by an attacker?  Have you ever worried about becoming yet another home invasion statistic?

I have no doubt you can address each of these real life questions, but allow me to share my reality of growing up cross sexed.  In a word, and to put it simply, it was sad.

I had all the usual failings of the “normal” gender bender, my own family even felt I was a failure.  Having sex with a person of the same sex was looked upon unfavorably by them and was seen as a perversion.  It was me that was seen as the ill minded one and it was me who actually encouraged the perverts of my day.  I was an enabler of these sick minded sexual perverts because I was a willing homosexual participant.  My family did not welcome me with open minds or arms, I was merely accepted because I was family not because I was homosexual.

I lucked out and met a man who dressed me and made me look every bit the feminine doll.  I liked feeling like a doll and being treated like one by him too, I willingly accepted playing the female role for him.  I was often sent to heaven by the sex I would have with him and I went out of my way and fully expected his “perverted” sex.  I enjoyed my time with him.

Not unlike other T-girls in their fledgling stages, I wanted to be womanized.  I felt the need to feed my female self.  I went to places that I knew were unwholesome and unsavory and a bit dangerous but I was motivated by my hoping to become a sex victim, over and over again.  I wanted to be feminized and didn’t care if my family thought poorly of me. 

I was lucky to find men who were just looking for NSA sex and who didn’t mind where, or what, it came from!

Darren and Beth Laur also say that it’s unfortunate that we live in an increasingly violent society in which the fear of crime is ever-present.  Personal safety has become an issue of importance for everyone, but I think it’s especially applicable to that fledgling T-girl.

Want to carry the great equalizer, a gun, for personal protection?  You can buy one at any gun show and get a permit to carry it from your local police department.  Rather than learn self-defense and attend safety seminars that scare you to death but teach you next to nothing, I’d recommend using the internet and asking the police for your particular state’s statutes regarding crime.  And then commit them to memory! 

I mention this only because what can happen to you once you reach a court room is very different from the actual event which brought you there in the first place.  Many things, especially within the law, have a strange way of changing or taking on a live of its own.  Don’t believe me?  Be dressed as a woman and shoot someone!

According to Darren and Beth Laur the real issue for being safe is for the combination of reliable information which is coupled with the debunking of widespread myths regarding self-defense.  

‘Violence; A writer’s guide’ is not about writing technique, it’s an introduction to the world of violence.  It’s a book just for the parts that people don’t understand and usually get wrong.  It’s not JUST the mechanics of people who live in a violent world but how they THINK and how they FEEL about what they do and what they see being done to them by the local law enforcement.  How they understand it all is a real eye opener! 

‘Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence’ and ‘Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected’ are both written by Rory Miller and I highly recommend them.

I was particularly impressed with Rory’s Instructor Development Course training and his experience in Crisis Communications with the Mentally Ill.  His bio is very much worth reading!  He sounds exactly like any person who pays attention.

Contrary to popular opinion, and multiple movies, your first line of defense is not a few well placed kicks to the savager’s groin, or expertly blocking and ducking animalistic punches to your face.  When most people hear the term “self-defense” they think of exactly that, but true self-defense begins long before those actions would even scratch the surface.  It begins way before that!

The first, and probably most important component in self-defense is, awareness.  Awareness of yourself, awareness of your surroundings, and awareness of your potential attackers.  His likely strategies will not be quite so obvious. 

It’s a known fact that criminals primarily use the advantage of surprise and studies have shown that criminals choose victims who appear to be unaware of what is going on around them.  Sitting around a table laughing and drinking and talking about the man date you got last week should not be considered.  I’m also not so sure any of that “awareness” goes for the guy looking for a quick hook-up.  Simply by giving the “appearance” of being aware and by projecting a “presence” may avoid altercations which may be commonplace on the street.

If you are approached I recommend you listen to what the guy has to say.  Use your sixth sense or your intuition, whatever you want to call it, because it can be a powerful subconscious insight into situations and people.  All of us have this gift but very few of us pay attention to it, we usually let our own animal loose to do the negotiations and I recommend we don’t.  Learn to trust this power and use it to your full advantage.  Avoid a person or a situation which does not “feel” safe .. in truth, you’re probably right.

It is a good idea to evaluate the deeper goals and practical usefulness of any self-defense program well before signing up.  Your money is just as green as any other!

It was brought to my attention that Dr. Ruthless (you can just Google her) has You Tube videos on-line and she shows you practical, instinctive moves, based on speed and timing not power and strength.  I’ve not seen them but I’m told they’re well worth watching and learning. 

Any self-defense program worth its weight in salt should include simulated assaults with a fully padded instructor in a realistic rape and attack scenario.  This allows you to practice, in full contact, what you’ve learned.

What if the unthinkable happens?  You’re suddenly confronted by a person who demands that you go with him.  Size up the scene.  Does he have a weapon?  How many T-girls are with you?  How many men are there?  The place could be a car or a dimly lit alley, a closet in a building, or some bushes.  He might say he just wants to sexually use you for a few minuets.  You need to decide quickly.

While it would seem exciting to obey him, you must learn to never be alone and never leave the primary scene of the crime.  A worst case scenario is he may be very anti-trans!  Statistics show you are far more likely to be seriously injured if you go with them than if you break and run away, even if he promises not to hurt you.  Escape is always your best option.

Run away, yell for help, throw a rock through a store or car window (which you can easily carry in your purse for just this purpose!)  Bottom line, get an audible alarm going!  Do whatever you have to, and can do, to attract attention.  If the criminal is simply after your purse or other materials, throw them one way as you run the other.  While it’s a very good idea to run toward light and people you may not find any advocates there.

Unfortunately, no matter how diligently we T-girls practice this safety awareness we may still find ourselves in a physical confrontation.  We are, after all, men in dresses and some of us are looking for sex!  We willingly place ourselves in vulnerable positions with men and we’re almost always alone despite telling our fellow T-friends before hand.  Whether or not you have self-defense training and, no matter what your age or physical condition, it is important to know and understand that you CAN and SHOULD defend yourself physically.  You have both the moral and legal right to do so.

How far you take that defense is another issue!

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