Sunday, November 6, 2011

Just keeping it real . . . .

To begin with I'd like to say I'm a firm believer that gays (of all stripes) are born, not made!

As I read another blog I was reminded that my dad was a hunter and so were all of my uncles. They would often take my brother and male cousin but I was never invited. It's as if they knew that stalking, hunting and killing would not be my cup-of-tea. I watched them pack up the car with equipment and leave for one hunting or fishing trip or another. Knowing I was being left behind I would quietly cry from my bedroom window.

For some reason, probably the "quiet" and latent queer in me, I was soon OK staying behind. My mother would ask me to help her with the housework and I even got some kind of joy from doing the laundry, ironing, dusting, and vacuuming. She took me under her wing and taught me how to cook and bake and sew and I took every opportunity to learn about her underwear. She told me lots. I was easily hooked on all the materials, the smells, the tactile sensations, the belts, the buckles, and the buttons. Very easily.

I played sports in junior high and was very good at them! I was one of those kids who could climb the rope in gym class at lightening speed and I loved the peg-board. I was good at baseball, basketball, and football and could do my fair share of pull-ups and push-ups. At a huge surprise to my gym teachers, they actually seemed shocked, I gravitated to the less demanding sport of running cross country. I liked it! I also watched sports on TV but did not have an interest in fashion magazines or soap operas!

All that soon changed.

I had one older sister (she was a real whore!) who always told me about her many boy-friends and what they did. I always became excited and wanted her life-style as my own. I felt it was my true and natural place.

As time went on, although I didn't dress femme externally, I spent most of my time in female undies and behaving like a very naughty girl. When I was in grade school, it was confirmed by plenty of boys that I was a real-life cock-sucking queer! I gave up lots of head to them just because they asked! For some strange reason doing that felt very right.

It still does!


  1. Gender and sexual preference are two separate categories, and the sooner the world in general can learn the difference between the two, the better. It would appear that the societal controls on sexual preference are loosening quite a bit, but the issue of gender and its public expression has yet to meet the same level of acceptance. Would that this would be the case!

    Like you, I also did well in organised sports, never gained an interest in soap operas or fashion and being a city person, never got involved in hunting. However, unlike you, the opportunity to try it never was presented until I went to college in a (very) rural setting and by then it was of no interest to me.

    The game of life we play is too difficult as it is, and the rules too complex. The best we can do is to be more accepting of one another and do whatever makes our lives happier, as long as it harms no one. May you continue to find a path which works its way to inner happiness for you!

  2. Thank you for saying as much! I agree that the rules for life are very complex. I also feel society makes them somewhat restrictive as well. Why is that? I'm just comfy being me. Thanks again.