Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My 'about me'

Like Jesus said,".. unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.  Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by." - John 8:58-59.

Well, I did a similar thing but I was born a male who became a female.  I dressed as a woman and often walked in front of other men!  I didn't realize it at the time but decided it was the only natural thing for me to do.  I later dressed as a female sex-pot and along the way I passed!  Easy, well, maybe not so easy.

To illustrate my point, the Food Stamp program, WIC, cell phones, and LHEAP, are all run by the government.  The people who work in the various departments of Agriculture, Parks and Recreation and the Department of the Interior all agree, it is unwise to feed wild animals!  They say that because those "wild animals" may become dependant upon the free food given away by we humans and will no longer be able to provide for themselves.  That's just common sense if you ask me.  But what are we humans if not a kind of "wild animal"?  I know that while we humans may be higher in the hierarchy of intelligence, we're not necessarily the highest on the food chain.  While many younger transvestites like to think we're exceptions to that rule, we're not.  General society proves it.  While the idea of dressing female as a man comes with some inherent dangers, I find it both challenging and interesting at the same time.

I have "lines" on my hands that I've read about and have been told about by professional palmists and what they say is, what I have in my palm print are lines of protection!  I have these lines on both my hands.  When they first appeared I have no idea.  What I've noticed, and after being told by professional palmists, is that there is no possible way to produce these marks naturally.  Not by wearing a bracelet, not by wearing rings, not by having your nails done, not by holding your hands in a particular manner and I do all of that.  There is simply no way to produce these marks naturally, none!  At least none that I know of.  I surmise the only way to get them is to be born with them, kind of akin to being born gay, we don't have a choice!

While I feel these lines may apply to me as a MTF transvestite, I'm in agreement that the lines on my hands represent a kind of "protection".  They (the lines) have kept me from doing dangerous things to myself throughout my life despite my desire.  Maybe they are why I'm still disease free and alive!  I know I've behaved poorly and I don't deserve to be disease free or alive, ergo, I must have led a protected life!  I never felt this as strong as I do today.  I admit I have no other clue.

Everything is dependant upon some other thing, the Butterfly Effect springs to my mind, and is a no-brainer.  Everything in the life of a human is controlled, cell phones and food as an example while in other cases it's our taxes.  These taxes are taken from us and spent on what-ever the takers want without consulting us as to what that may be!  That ought to be another no-brainer.  I have an extremely limited income and it is dependant upon this same government but I have enough.  Despite my un-approving wife who divorced me because of my desires.  So, in the looming doom of this economy coupled with what politians have done with our dollars in the past, I plan to trade my talents for things I will need should that "need" ever arise.  End of the Earth and all that.

My chief concern is obviously makeup.  I use lots of that in order to pass and it does get worn off during sexual abuse.  My heels, nylons, and dresses, along with other things I use to create the illusion of being a female, are least not secondary and they are somewhat enduring.  Those things can be used over and over, and they usually are on a daily basis, but the list never ends, it simply goes on and on.  I only accept tips for my "services rendered" to help me look more like a woman, I'm a whore, NOT a prostitute!  In addition to all the barter and future survival skills you can learn there is one other skill and that skill is how to be charitable.  It’s not a hard thing to learn.  Give "it" away and see what happens, you may get a pleasant surprise!  To be sure, you're gonna become very popular!

IMO, what I have learned and done has been very appropriate for me.  My dress and makeup merely reflect what I am; a man who happens to enjoy being fucked by other men while wearing feminine clothes.  Because I feel I'm a female I do what merely comes natural.  I have the willingness to perform sexually as a woman for a man and I know I only have 2 out of 3 things a GG has.  I have no pussy for an example.  Because of that, and my mind set, I do what most GGs don't want to, so in a sense having low morals and low self esteem coupled with a guilt free and clear mind, helps me be a whore.  Does that make me a psychopath?  I think not but it helps allow me to have wanton sex!  I fully know there is no way for me to become pregnant but I can still catch an STD, HIV or AIDS or I can be killed out-right by a nare-do-well.  Just think sex from multiple strange men and the Day of Rememberance.  To that end, I must be very careful and somewhat selective.  I may be a male to female transvestite and wanton "bitch" but I do not have a death-wish!

I've posted an 'about me' before but I will re-post in the hope I'll say something that lets you get to know me.  Not many people know the real me.  No, I'm not going to post my real "male" name, although some trans people already know it, or my current address as I'm rather content being as popular as I am.  Yes, I'm a "fake" woman in my apartment for any man (admirer) who wants me despite being a man myself.  I wish to tell you how my life has shaped me into the woman I am today.

Gerard Way said, "One day your life will flash before your eyes.  Make sure it’s worth watching."  IMO, that's both sage advice and eventual.

I heard or read somewhere (I'm sure it was regarding extraterrestrial aliens or UFOs) that “When you see it, you will believe it.”  However, an equally well known person turned that around and said, “When you believe it, you will see it!”  A true conundrum if ever there was one but UFOs are very controversial and everyone has an opinion about them.  Every one!  The same can be said, and often is, about trannies as everybody has an opinion about us, too.  Everybody!  I just happen to believe I'm in the latter camp.

I also read Buddha has a saying, “All that we are arises with our thoughts.  With our thoughts we make the World”.  Well, what Buddha said made me re-think my idea about my desire to be a female.  At first, I thought being a female was merely in my head, I simply made it what it is.  But then I asked myself;  Why would I do that?  I know I didn't feel I was gay (though I could have been) and the question of my being gay was dismissed simply because I've felt I was female at the ripe old age of six.  The only answer was that deep down inside I really felt I was female!

As an FYI, I currently play video games, first person shooter (FPS) and role playing games (RPG), I do this simply to remind myself I'm a man.  All the testosterone that goes into making these video games is almost palatable, just look at the women portrayed, and it lets me at least feel like I'm a man.  Real women don't make me feel I'm a man!  It may be that I merely "think" I'm a woman and while Buddha's saying is still a very interesting one to me, I'm driven to be a woman.  Regardless of what anyone thinks of me I admit, while I'm a bit turned off by society I'm not confused by society, it is what it is, it's people and they're entitled to their opinions.  I am confused, however, by the Bible thumpers.  Tolerance and all that.

As you may have gathered, or may not, I'm a male to female transvestite, a cross dresser.  Some say I am an "un-decided" cross dresser and a few want me to transition to a "full woman".  Just one more example of the many opinions I mentioned.  Allow me to explain a first about myself;  At my advanced age of 62 plus I have no plans to seek corrective reconstruction surgery (SRS).  Not only am I that small but "corrective" surgery has the implication something is wrong, I heartily disagree!  I have never felt the need for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and I've "performed" as a full-time woman since I was ayongster, so I guess I'm also lucky in that department.  I am very aware I'm very under endowed as a man and as the joke goes, I would never call my tiny "pee-pee" a cock!  I see it as more of a large clit, my dick is very small.  Despite what I do, and the way I usually dress, I feel very comfortable with me!  I'm also considered a whore by many fellow MTF cross dressers and quite a few GGs, that's their opinion of me.  I think they're just jealous, that's my opinion of them!

"Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy?", that's from Proverbs 27:1-4 in the King James bible but I don't pretend to know what it means or what bearing it has.  I do know I'm not into scat or blood!

My life is not all that much different from others like me.  I drink a couple cups of half-cafe coffee while reading my Kindle, I then select my dress for the day, take a shower and put on my makeup.  When I get dressed I feel strongly I have no other purpose than to have sex with men which is why I dress the way I do.  I know I can't get pregnant, I don't have the plumbing for that, and most of my dates know that.  If I'm really lucky, (this is just me!) I'll get passed around, "fun" at it's finest!  I do get "man messed" on my face quite often and I do feel a kind of hurt in my man-pussy but that's because some men who fuck me are very enthusiastic!  As an FYI, all men are big and they do hurt me but only for a brief time.  I know their hurt isn't permanent and I know I absolutely love to have sex with men!  So, why is that?

To answer that question let me say I have an insatiable desire to be a female and I simply behave as one, albeit it is said with questionable morals and low self-esteem.  More opinions!  I see myself as simply an unquenchable he/she cross dressing "bitch" and I think I know what is meant by the word "bitch".  I also think I understand the he/she part!

I'm a queer who bends for men and I absolutely love being the center of attention, not surprising I also love turning their heads!  That means I wear very short skirts, heels with nylons, and wear lots of makeup.  Men enjoy seeing a woman looking like me and that's what I want to project, it's what I feel I am.  I'm not sure how simple, or dumb, that makes me but society would have me behaving badly as a boy behind closed doors only and I would happily do that anyway, I don't need to wear a dress!  But dressing like a "lady" in public when I'm still a man is a trick.  Or is it?  That is very confusing to me!  I only have two out of three things a GG has and I willingly want to use them, so what's so wrong about that?

Along my journey of my becoming a male to female tranny I have come to realize I'm a cum-whore.  Some say that's sad but it's true nonetheless.  I usually ask "dates" to say they "love" me as they unload or just after they cum in me but many dates simply refuse.  I understand because I know what we do is not "love" by any stretch!  I know what "love" really is!  Most dates say they enjoy letting me make "love" to them which I call it simply because it sounds nice.  Unless he wants me to use other words!

Semen, which is pure protein and only a man (regardless of his endowment or race) can give it to me, is like chocolate, I like it!  While I care less about cock size, (in fact smaller is better as far as I'm concerned!) I do care that all cum is spent inside me.  Well, most of it, some of it can end up on my face!  Regardless if you just put your dick in my mouth and have me jack you off, or fuck me in my man-pussy, as long as some of your cum gets in me I do not have a problem!  And yes, I prefer "bare-back" so I can taste it and I do swallow!  The only thing I demand of you (or ask) is, before I swallow you tell me you're disease free!  I know I don't have the where-with-all to check you medically so I rely on you to tell me.  I am clean (at least my doctor tells me I am STD free) and I wish to remain that way!

I'm fully aware I'm a male to female cross dresser who can catch an STD by simply sucking a cock.  In fact, I'm sure I'll catch an STD, HIV or AIDS one day, but until I do I promise to be your suck and fuck bitch for the few moments of sex we have together and I promise not to talk with you about it afterward no matter how it goes, ever!  Many men who have experienced me as a woman have told me I'm a cum whore, so I guess it must be true!  But then again, that's just their opinion of me.  My experience is that the majority of my dates are black, not because they are well "hung" but simply because they seem to be more accepting of a "girl" like me.  If they want to fuck my man-pussy that's OK because I let them and they only hurt in the beginning, I'll get over it I am a woman!

So, how does a born boy go from being just a boy to a wanton girl?  I first have to tell you some history about myself.  I apologize up front for the long-ness of the post.

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