Never mind the Paris Hiltons, Kim Kardasians, or the other myriad of sexy women around, I ask, why do I enjoy dressing the same way they do? Sometimes it boils down to, "We just like how it looks on us!"
Take a moment and look at how many real women who are old enough to know better but who still follow the "trends" and try to dress as if they're still their daughter's age. There's even a word to describe them, Cougars. It's not just my opinion that these "cougars" are simply looking for Mr Right-now and are not at all interested in finding Mr Right, it's the attitude of most men and women of society and it's very acceptable.
Agree or don't, these cougars also send the message to their teenage girls that they have to be "hot" in order to be accepted. As a male to female transvestite I also have an affinity for men, ergo, I firmly don't believe I'm so different from those teenage girls, but because of my biological sex I do fit in a whole other category.
In reality, teen girls aren't so much the problem as the 40 and 50-somethings out there. These cougars cut just as deeply as anyone, maybe even deeper! While it's my opinion the cougars simply refuse to act their age, asking the question "why" begets a much larger more comprehensive issue, and it's much the same as mine.
It is a little accepted fact that teenage girls don't frequent the same clubs or bars that I do which leaves cougars, as well as other T-girls, in direct competition for cock with me! Some of these older women are so desperately hoping for sex with a guy they dress and act in ways that make them look inappropriate (cheap) and behave foolishly (again cheap!) I may come across as condescending but I take many of my cues directly from them! Cougars are my best teachers.
No one is suggesting Cougars simply accept the fact most guys are not interested in them in any way other than as an NSA sex partner, I know I'm certainly hoping that's the case with regard to myself!
As for not being able to find "sexy" clothing in the regular stores which are age appropriate, may I suggest the thrift shops? I use thrift shops and I sew. There are many ways to be fashionable and still remain modest ... if modest is how you wish to be seen! When I go out "hunting" for man-sex, modesty is the farthest thing from my mind!
Do some women flaunt their sex? Are you blind? Allow me to share.
When we were kids (back in 1960) we might leave the house looking one particular way and then change into something more "edgy" long before the school bus arrived. I was very impressed by the girls because they left home with a fresh clean face and the usual long skirt. Then they added the makeup, maybe added some toilet tissue to their bras and unbuttoned their blouses down to here, they also rolled up their skirts! Ms. Hottie emerged! It was a slut look that both the girls and the boys liked very much. It was no wonder the girls became very popular with the boys!
As a gay boy, I quickly learned that what you did was not nearly as important as image. Image was everything! In fact, it was my image which saved me a lot of ass kicking!
With Madison Avenue out and about women are simply pretty, crafty, and feel they absolutely MUST keep up with their peers. It is argued that I chose my sex identification but I think I merely grew up like a sponge. I simply didn't take long to learn.
In my humble opinion society is the one confused.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Advocacy
This topic was recently brought up during my good friend's English class.
It would seem that teaching students to emulate highly forward thinking people would be a good thing. The fact these forward thinking people are inclusive and obviously popular would be a huge plus. Advocacy, as a general subject, would be well served, teaching it would be wholesome, it would of course be the right-est thing to do.
However, doing so as a formal teacher one could easily become a victim of the scholastic system. Political Correctness knows no bounds and WHAT you advocate is just as important as WHY.
An example is that society, as is generally viewed, does not think favorably of queers or Cross Dressers regardless if they're male or female. Ru Paul is excepted and the topic for another subject.
Dallas Denny wrote back in 1999, that we DO eat our leaders, one only need look to Wiki-leaks and the Occupy factions to see if this is a true statement or not. Even the President of the United States gets blamed for everything from Katrina to Health Insurance, from unemployment to gas prices, regardless of party affiliation and regardless of actual control.
In the final analysts real and honest advocacy is not that much different from war, both have causes and motivations, both have outcomes, and both are quite violent. Not everyone is equipped to be an advocate just like everyone can not be a soldier.
I, for one, hope to have Cross Dressing advocacy around for some time, for it is nice to have people provide an anchor for us. Unfortunately, society may never change.
It would seem that teaching students to emulate highly forward thinking people would be a good thing. The fact these forward thinking people are inclusive and obviously popular would be a huge plus. Advocacy, as a general subject, would be well served, teaching it would be wholesome, it would of course be the right-est thing to do.
However, doing so as a formal teacher one could easily become a victim of the scholastic system. Political Correctness knows no bounds and WHAT you advocate is just as important as WHY.
An example is that society, as is generally viewed, does not think favorably of queers or Cross Dressers regardless if they're male or female. Ru Paul is excepted and the topic for another subject.
Dallas Denny wrote back in 1999, that we DO eat our leaders, one only need look to Wiki-leaks and the Occupy factions to see if this is a true statement or not. Even the President of the United States gets blamed for everything from Katrina to Health Insurance, from unemployment to gas prices, regardless of party affiliation and regardless of actual control.
In the final analysts real and honest advocacy is not that much different from war, both have causes and motivations, both have outcomes, and both are quite violent. Not everyone is equipped to be an advocate just like everyone can not be a soldier.
I, for one, hope to have Cross Dressing advocacy around for some time, for it is nice to have people provide an anchor for us. Unfortunately, society may never change.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A very TOPICAL topic!
Somewhat in vouge, too!
I recently read someplace a post which made me think about conversations I had with GG's which included fellatio and anal sex. When I think back on those conversations they were fraught with conflict and almost bordered on hostility.
One particular woman (she was from Canada, a painter artist type, and lived on a sailboat) who I felt I could confess to said, maybe I was enjoying being a woman too much! She told me to be careful. Then in a very graphic manner admonished me NOT to tell her husband! Could it be that women didn’t really accept me, but paid lip-service to my situation, simply because I was neither a real woman or a real man?
Wow! Another question to ponder!
Many conversations took place but I’ve never understood how almost all GG’s say it's OK for a man to be gay, yet, they resist their own man when he wants a little quick oral or some meaningless anal sex. Allowing him to cross dress and act out as a homosexual is absolutely forbidden.
I did not ask them, what their preference was!
Almost to a woman they told me they only did it because he wanted it. They said they only saw oral and anal sex as a means to get something really nice from him later in exchange, one woman mentioned a diamond necklace! They all made it a very strong point to remind me they were real women and didn’t do that just for kicks! A few even said it was kind of ghetto and a bit disgusting.
It must have been him that wanted anal and oral sex as part of their bedroom routine. Which is to say, he did, but she didn’t! That difference could lead to conflict and divorce. It certainly explained to me why I, as a T-girl, met so many married men. They apparently enjoyed anal and oral sex but they didn’t get it at home!
I was not so surprised to learn most women do it as an obligation only. Many GG's do as their man tells them, but don't we all? GG's have told me they view anal and oral sex as merely another form of birth control. While they admit to using their mouths, which some have claimed is done as much as three times per day, most say they don't like giving head as a substitute for regular sex.
Speaking for myself, giving my LTR guy a blow job three times a day was great! Giving three different STD free guys blow jobs in the course of a single day was my idea of heaven!
GG’s also related to me that gay females can simply use a dildo to sexually satisfy their partner using her vagina. Some have also told me, laughingly, that 'if' they were gay, they’d use the double ended dildos! I guess GG’s are not so different from the rest of us humans!
During these conversations, they've also told me they feel sorry for a gay man like me because we’re severely limited. We male gays are relegated and must use only what we have depending what the guy is into. Although I'd never say it, personally, I see him as just being into me for the moment! lol!
I think doing what the guy wants is a normal part of being a femme. As a T-girl, I think of oral or anal sex as anything but humiliating. During my life I’ve given head and took it up my back-side a few times while in front of large, bare, apartment windows, knowing we were being watched via telescopes, simply because he said he wanted me that way.
Many trysts were performed in full view of the neighbors and they rarely said anything to either of us but they always watched! Yes, as I left the place I often got more than a few looks. That didn’t matter to me because I was secure in knowing I also got the customary semen, which I see as another kind of satisfaction, and nothing threatening ever happened to me!
If oral and anal sex is a humiliating sex act, then I've willingly accepted being humiliated by lots of men! But I also wear a dress and have low morals, so, maybe I'm just really confused.
Actually, I don’t think I’m confused at all!
I recently read someplace a post which made me think about conversations I had with GG's which included fellatio and anal sex. When I think back on those conversations they were fraught with conflict and almost bordered on hostility.
One particular woman (she was from Canada, a painter artist type, and lived on a sailboat) who I felt I could confess to said, maybe I was enjoying being a woman too much! She told me to be careful. Then in a very graphic manner admonished me NOT to tell her husband! Could it be that women didn’t really accept me, but paid lip-service to my situation, simply because I was neither a real woman or a real man?
Wow! Another question to ponder!
Many conversations took place but I’ve never understood how almost all GG’s say it's OK for a man to be gay, yet, they resist their own man when he wants a little quick oral or some meaningless anal sex. Allowing him to cross dress and act out as a homosexual is absolutely forbidden.
I did not ask them, what their preference was!
Almost to a woman they told me they only did it because he wanted it. They said they only saw oral and anal sex as a means to get something really nice from him later in exchange, one woman mentioned a diamond necklace! They all made it a very strong point to remind me they were real women and didn’t do that just for kicks! A few even said it was kind of ghetto and a bit disgusting.
It must have been him that wanted anal and oral sex as part of their bedroom routine. Which is to say, he did, but she didn’t! That difference could lead to conflict and divorce. It certainly explained to me why I, as a T-girl, met so many married men. They apparently enjoyed anal and oral sex but they didn’t get it at home!
I was not so surprised to learn most women do it as an obligation only. Many GG's do as their man tells them, but don't we all? GG's have told me they view anal and oral sex as merely another form of birth control. While they admit to using their mouths, which some have claimed is done as much as three times per day, most say they don't like giving head as a substitute for regular sex.
Speaking for myself, giving my LTR guy a blow job three times a day was great! Giving three different STD free guys blow jobs in the course of a single day was my idea of heaven!
GG’s also related to me that gay females can simply use a dildo to sexually satisfy their partner using her vagina. Some have also told me, laughingly, that 'if' they were gay, they’d use the double ended dildos! I guess GG’s are not so different from the rest of us humans!
During these conversations, they've also told me they feel sorry for a gay man like me because we’re severely limited. We male gays are relegated and must use only what we have depending what the guy is into. Although I'd never say it, personally, I see him as just being into me for the moment! lol!
I think doing what the guy wants is a normal part of being a femme. As a T-girl, I think of oral or anal sex as anything but humiliating. During my life I’ve given head and took it up my back-side a few times while in front of large, bare, apartment windows, knowing we were being watched via telescopes, simply because he said he wanted me that way.
Many trysts were performed in full view of the neighbors and they rarely said anything to either of us but they always watched! Yes, as I left the place I often got more than a few looks. That didn’t matter to me because I was secure in knowing I also got the customary semen, which I see as another kind of satisfaction, and nothing threatening ever happened to me!
If oral and anal sex is a humiliating sex act, then I've willingly accepted being humiliated by lots of men! But I also wear a dress and have low morals, so, maybe I'm just really confused.
Actually, I don’t think I’m confused at all!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
I am half my father and half my mother
Growing up I was told by what I can only deem as somewhat surprised family members, that I looked much more like my mother than I did my father. As I grew up I discovered I took on way more than just my mother's looks. Thank you, mom, for giving me my hair, hips, and legs!
By most societal impressions, I'm gay. However I see myself as a "femme" as opposed to a "flame", and I mean no slam or put-down toward flames! As the expression goes, "Some of my best friends are flames!"
In keeping with my mother's gene input, my penis has been very tiny. As a result of my being gay, older boys enjoyed making me stand before them naked and watching, and laughing, as I urinated over my testicles and it ran down my closed legs. I wasn't hurt and I didn't judge them, but I saw them as just being boys. Today I dress as a woman.
I read somewhere that a person could have a casual thought, or dream, about being an anatomical male or female who has the mind set of the opposite sex. That person could expresses that opposite fully, but only within the casual thought or dream.
Professional rhetoric states that a person could also "probably" live as a member of the opposite sex, either part-time or full-time, and seek to change his or her original sex through hormonal (HRT) or sex reassignment surgery (SRS). While these things are absolutely legal, clinically they indicate a problem within that person.
Really?
It is my opinion that a person, sexually conflicted or otherwise, is NOT a clinical problem. A cross sexed person does not need to be fixed, they need to be accepted!
The actual demand for HRT and SRS has been historically dependent upon the patient’s own knowledge of the availability of these expensive procedures, Google has only been a recent invention. Most "conflicted" souls quietly saved up to go over seas. The uncanny personal sense, and conviction, of having a cross-sexed mind in need of a matching body usually comes long before such knowledge of HRT and SRS is discovered.
Ergo, the conflict.
Typically, a transsexual learns about themselves during childhood and their feelings of belonging to the other sex is very real. This leads to confusion in the beginning but thankfully levels out within the person in later years. Today, he or she is sometimes referred to as gay, I was labeled a queer boy.
The idea for SRS becomes the ideal fix but the age for it varied. It was parents who felt that age to be pre-pubertal or adolescence. It may have been delayed until the person was in their young adulthood or early middle age. The individualist obsession to act out on their sexual feelings without the benefit of HRT or SRS was postponed no longer.
Since their closets were filled with Lycra, Spandex, silks and nylons, it followed that falsies, heels, wigs, make up and mirrors made a surge in their lives. Men would be next.
Public health statistics, in the United States anyway, do not include figures on sexual related problems, including the incidence of "natural" birth defects of the sex organs.
Were these babies male or female? Who had the inclination to care?
Voluntary registration of so-called "sex related problems" would fail today because of the social chastisement or potential penalties of self-disclosure. Therefore, there are no honest estimates of the incidence of transsexualism.
It is said that post-operative transsexuals in the United States now number in the thousands but certainly not in the tens of thousands. To be more succinct, in a total United States population of over 220 million people the condition is not as common as most physicians might like to think.
Interesting.
It is also said that it's not so common, perhaps only 1 to 2 percent of the total population, that every physician should NOT expect to treat several cases in the course of his or her medical career. Some doctors will actually see no cases and some will miss cases because the patient is too apprehensive (scared) to state his or her situation.
This sexual cross-over has gone on since before the Bible was written and it will continue to the end of time. Calling the affected person a homo will not change things.
Why can't we all just get along?
By most societal impressions, I'm gay. However I see myself as a "femme" as opposed to a "flame", and I mean no slam or put-down toward flames! As the expression goes, "Some of my best friends are flames!"
In keeping with my mother's gene input, my penis has been very tiny. As a result of my being gay, older boys enjoyed making me stand before them naked and watching, and laughing, as I urinated over my testicles and it ran down my closed legs. I wasn't hurt and I didn't judge them, but I saw them as just being boys. Today I dress as a woman.
I read somewhere that a person could have a casual thought, or dream, about being an anatomical male or female who has the mind set of the opposite sex. That person could expresses that opposite fully, but only within the casual thought or dream.
Professional rhetoric states that a person could also "probably" live as a member of the opposite sex, either part-time or full-time, and seek to change his or her original sex through hormonal (HRT) or sex reassignment surgery (SRS). While these things are absolutely legal, clinically they indicate a problem within that person.
Really?
It is my opinion that a person, sexually conflicted or otherwise, is NOT a clinical problem. A cross sexed person does not need to be fixed, they need to be accepted!
The actual demand for HRT and SRS has been historically dependent upon the patient’s own knowledge of the availability of these expensive procedures, Google has only been a recent invention. Most "conflicted" souls quietly saved up to go over seas. The uncanny personal sense, and conviction, of having a cross-sexed mind in need of a matching body usually comes long before such knowledge of HRT and SRS is discovered.
Ergo, the conflict.
Typically, a transsexual learns about themselves during childhood and their feelings of belonging to the other sex is very real. This leads to confusion in the beginning but thankfully levels out within the person in later years. Today, he or she is sometimes referred to as gay, I was labeled a queer boy.
The idea for SRS becomes the ideal fix but the age for it varied. It was parents who felt that age to be pre-pubertal or adolescence. It may have been delayed until the person was in their young adulthood or early middle age. The individualist obsession to act out on their sexual feelings without the benefit of HRT or SRS was postponed no longer.
Since their closets were filled with Lycra, Spandex, silks and nylons, it followed that falsies, heels, wigs, make up and mirrors made a surge in their lives. Men would be next.
Public health statistics, in the United States anyway, do not include figures on sexual related problems, including the incidence of "natural" birth defects of the sex organs.
Were these babies male or female? Who had the inclination to care?
Voluntary registration of so-called "sex related problems" would fail today because of the social chastisement or potential penalties of self-disclosure. Therefore, there are no honest estimates of the incidence of transsexualism.
It is said that post-operative transsexuals in the United States now number in the thousands but certainly not in the tens of thousands. To be more succinct, in a total United States population of over 220 million people the condition is not as common as most physicians might like to think.
Interesting.
It is also said that it's not so common, perhaps only 1 to 2 percent of the total population, that every physician should NOT expect to treat several cases in the course of his or her medical career. Some doctors will actually see no cases and some will miss cases because the patient is too apprehensive (scared) to state his or her situation.
This sexual cross-over has gone on since before the Bible was written and it will continue to the end of time. Calling the affected person a homo will not change things.
Why can't we all just get along?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Recently read about this on-line, thought I'd add my spin to it.
The word "express" or the term "expression", with regard to sex, does not appear in any law to date. Not one, none. I found that amazing. Laws prohibiting discrimination, bullying, out-right physical attacks, are all over the place, but not one law says anything based on gender identity or gender expression!
In truth, anti-discrimination laws established in most US cities and states do not protect people from anything because laws do not protect, period! That would be like saying, more pencils will make smarter people. I don't think so.
These "anti-discrimination" laws merely add an additional layer to an established law which carries its own fine or sentence and most people who would violate that law already know it but don't care. Being a guy dressed in a pretty yellow outfit won't stop you from being dragged into an alleyway!
Laws, regardless of how they're worded, will not change a person's heart, nor will they amend an attitude, nor will they positively impact upon negative mind sets. Barry McGuire said it best; "legislation alone, won't bring integration" I say, we can not expect everyone to be our advocate.
Consequently, even non-expressive gay people, like myself, face one form or another of discrimination in nearly every aspect of their daily lives. I know I face discrimination every time my landlord's look changes to a leer because he knows about me. Every time I go shopping everyone seems to know! And it makes no difference if I'm dressed as a male or a female.
A new policy was implemented by USAID recently and represents an impressive step forward. But because the policy is not mandatory and does not have the full force of the law behind it, employees in organizations contracting with USAID have absolutely no remedy if the policy is violated.
Really? Kudos to USAID of course, I guess, but a policy which is NOT mandatory? Then what good is it to have it? To just be able to say you got a policy?
In order to protect the rights of transgendered people, the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) continues to urge President Obama to issue an executive order prohibiting all federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Perhaps the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a first step in that direction, but we are talking about gays and lesbians, not transgendered or cross dressers. Might I dare add, if you don't pass don't hold your breath for any federal gender expression laws getting on the books any time soon.
Interestingly, the NCTE and NGLTF also released a finding from a report back in 2001, it was entitled; Injustice at Every Turn. Very nice title. While this report confirmed the pervasive and severe discrimination faced by transgendered people, it did not investigate the situation for those who "express" as the opposite sex. I think of this as a kind of discrimination within our own ranks.
Out of a small sample of nearly 6,500 trans persons, the report found they experienced high levels of discrimination in fields of employment, housing, health care, education, legal, and even in their own families! And you thought is was just you! The full report can be found online, just Google it.
Apparently, after 10 years at least, absolutely nothing has changed! LMFAO!
Transgender people may also have additional identities that affect the types of discrimination they experience. Simply said, experiencing discrimination of any kind adds significantly to psychological stress and often includes people from sundry racial, ethnic, or religious and minority backgrounds. Often times individuals are left to wonder whether they were discriminated against solely because of their gender identity or gender expression, or was it their socio-cultural identity, their race, or some combination of all of these!
How can one possibly know? Do you ask? Do you dare?
Worth noting, and also according to the study from 2001, while discrimination is quite pervasive for many transgender people, the main intersection of anti-transgender bias and persistence, is also where structural racism is especially severe. African American transgendered individuals fare far worse than all other transgender populations examined.
All. I find that very note worthy. I also find it appalling!
The report goes on to say, many transgender people, regardless of race, are the targets of hate crimes, but there are simply no laws addressing that issue. Hate AND Gender Expression. These transgender persons are simply considered victims of a unique and subtle form of discrimination. I mean, honestly! This kind of discrimination can include everything from a disapproving glare, an extremely mean verbal attack, a statement about specific body parts or the typical physical attack. This kind of discrimination usually produces some level of discomfort.
Say it ain't so!
People who engage in this type of activity are usually nothing less than invasive, usually vulgar, and total brutes.
So, where does it all end? My guess is when society decides it ends. I'm not holding my breath.
In truth, anti-discrimination laws established in most US cities and states do not protect people from anything because laws do not protect, period! That would be like saying, more pencils will make smarter people. I don't think so.
These "anti-discrimination" laws merely add an additional layer to an established law which carries its own fine or sentence and most people who would violate that law already know it but don't care. Being a guy dressed in a pretty yellow outfit won't stop you from being dragged into an alleyway!
Laws, regardless of how they're worded, will not change a person's heart, nor will they amend an attitude, nor will they positively impact upon negative mind sets. Barry McGuire said it best; "legislation alone, won't bring integration" I say, we can not expect everyone to be our advocate.
Consequently, even non-expressive gay people, like myself, face one form or another of discrimination in nearly every aspect of their daily lives. I know I face discrimination every time my landlord's look changes to a leer because he knows about me. Every time I go shopping everyone seems to know! And it makes no difference if I'm dressed as a male or a female.
A new policy was implemented by USAID recently and represents an impressive step forward. But because the policy is not mandatory and does not have the full force of the law behind it, employees in organizations contracting with USAID have absolutely no remedy if the policy is violated.
Really? Kudos to USAID of course, I guess, but a policy which is NOT mandatory? Then what good is it to have it? To just be able to say you got a policy?
In order to protect the rights of transgendered people, the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) continues to urge President Obama to issue an executive order prohibiting all federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Perhaps the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a first step in that direction, but we are talking about gays and lesbians, not transgendered or cross dressers. Might I dare add, if you don't pass don't hold your breath for any federal gender expression laws getting on the books any time soon.
Interestingly, the NCTE and NGLTF also released a finding from a report back in 2001, it was entitled; Injustice at Every Turn. Very nice title. While this report confirmed the pervasive and severe discrimination faced by transgendered people, it did not investigate the situation for those who "express" as the opposite sex. I think of this as a kind of discrimination within our own ranks.
Out of a small sample of nearly 6,500 trans persons, the report found they experienced high levels of discrimination in fields of employment, housing, health care, education, legal, and even in their own families! And you thought is was just you! The full report can be found online, just Google it.
Apparently, after 10 years at least, absolutely nothing has changed! LMFAO!
Transgender people may also have additional identities that affect the types of discrimination they experience. Simply said, experiencing discrimination of any kind adds significantly to psychological stress and often includes people from sundry racial, ethnic, or religious and minority backgrounds. Often times individuals are left to wonder whether they were discriminated against solely because of their gender identity or gender expression, or was it their socio-cultural identity, their race, or some combination of all of these!
How can one possibly know? Do you ask? Do you dare?
Worth noting, and also according to the study from 2001, while discrimination is quite pervasive for many transgender people, the main intersection of anti-transgender bias and persistence, is also where structural racism is especially severe. African American transgendered individuals fare far worse than all other transgender populations examined.
All. I find that very note worthy. I also find it appalling!
The report goes on to say, many transgender people, regardless of race, are the targets of hate crimes, but there are simply no laws addressing that issue. Hate AND Gender Expression. These transgender persons are simply considered victims of a unique and subtle form of discrimination. I mean, honestly! This kind of discrimination can include everything from a disapproving glare, an extremely mean verbal attack, a statement about specific body parts or the typical physical attack. This kind of discrimination usually produces some level of discomfort.
Say it ain't so!
People who engage in this type of activity are usually nothing less than invasive, usually vulgar, and total brutes.
So, where does it all end? My guess is when society decides it ends. I'm not holding my breath.
Monday, January 23, 2012
I read Trans-blogs all the time
I read Trans-blogs all the time. I recently read one on Femulate by Stana and it made me want to post this thought to my own blog.
I got the distinct impression her's was a question regarding money. The "struggling family" she mentions smacks so much of exploitation, the funding for it only re-enforces my suspicions and beliefs.
Ironically, I just watched a movie on HBO just last night called "Cinema Verite". The movie claimed to be true and, in the credits at the end, it hi-lighted each person involved. It was about a real family in Santa Barbra, California, during the 70s. It also said this movie actually started the "reality TV" craze we take for granted today. Directed by Craig Gilbert in 1972, the movie was seen by many people at PBS as a success. The movie was titled An American Family.
My interest, of course, was not peaked because the movie was true or because of the characters chosen, the family also happened to have a homosexual boy character who left home to go to NYC to find himself. That sounded very nice to me and, in fact, he was living a very significant facet of my own personal fantasy. I was actually a bit jealous of him. While Lance was an obvious homosexual, I fell to the pressures from my own biological family and society norms and developed to a much less outwardly sufficient degree. I didn't become like him but I developed inside myself.
So, I made some popcorn and settled in for a good movie. I was not disappointed. He fell hopelessly in love with a person who worked on stage as a cross dressing female. He was my kind of boy! Naturally, I felt his exposure was very limited but the movie was about a much larger thing. A social thought, a really big idea. One I had much interest in. Or so I thought.
His mother made a visit to his place in NYC, which was filmed, and when she learned about her son's relationship she said only mildly significant things about it. The fact of Lance's blatant homosexuality was also not talked about by her at any time. She was on camera, however, and I felt that particular topic might've been taboo.
His NYC life, which I suspect had boundaries of its own, was filmed in todo but with no input from his mother and no knowledge of his father. The boy had carte blanc to live his life the way he wanted. Sounds like a pretty "normal" life to me now. Lance contracted HIV, became very ill and passed away in 2001 at the age of 50. For those who care, he was NOT alone.
The film, The American Family, at the very first screening of it, in the title the word "Family" was shown with cracks running all through it. It was quickly seen by the majority of the masses as an American Freak Show. My thoughts, as I saw those scenes and well after the movie was over, ran to a rut I call, "some things never change". I was particularly glad to see the "Family" fought back!
This movie might not be so similar to the flick Stana mentioned on Femulate, but I always feel when ever money is involved it seems to have a strange but unrelenting way of talking. Unfortunately, so does society! No matter the people, no matter the conditions, no matter the story, there are always throngs of humans who are conflicted.
So, is it better that we trannies spend our money on ourselves FOR our admirers while keeping our secrets to ourselves? I think not. The world is teeming with admirers.
See ya out there!
I got the distinct impression her's was a question regarding money. The "struggling family" she mentions smacks so much of exploitation, the funding for it only re-enforces my suspicions and beliefs.
Ironically, I just watched a movie on HBO just last night called "Cinema Verite". The movie claimed to be true and, in the credits at the end, it hi-lighted each person involved. It was about a real family in Santa Barbra, California, during the 70s. It also said this movie actually started the "reality TV" craze we take for granted today. Directed by Craig Gilbert in 1972, the movie was seen by many people at PBS as a success. The movie was titled An American Family.
My interest, of course, was not peaked because the movie was true or because of the characters chosen, the family also happened to have a homosexual boy character who left home to go to NYC to find himself. That sounded very nice to me and, in fact, he was living a very significant facet of my own personal fantasy. I was actually a bit jealous of him. While Lance was an obvious homosexual, I fell to the pressures from my own biological family and society norms and developed to a much less outwardly sufficient degree. I didn't become like him but I developed inside myself.
So, I made some popcorn and settled in for a good movie. I was not disappointed. He fell hopelessly in love with a person who worked on stage as a cross dressing female. He was my kind of boy! Naturally, I felt his exposure was very limited but the movie was about a much larger thing. A social thought, a really big idea. One I had much interest in. Or so I thought.
His mother made a visit to his place in NYC, which was filmed, and when she learned about her son's relationship she said only mildly significant things about it. The fact of Lance's blatant homosexuality was also not talked about by her at any time. She was on camera, however, and I felt that particular topic might've been taboo.
His NYC life, which I suspect had boundaries of its own, was filmed in todo but with no input from his mother and no knowledge of his father. The boy had carte blanc to live his life the way he wanted. Sounds like a pretty "normal" life to me now. Lance contracted HIV, became very ill and passed away in 2001 at the age of 50. For those who care, he was NOT alone.
The film, The American Family, at the very first screening of it, in the title the word "Family" was shown with cracks running all through it. It was quickly seen by the majority of the masses as an American Freak Show. My thoughts, as I saw those scenes and well after the movie was over, ran to a rut I call, "some things never change". I was particularly glad to see the "Family" fought back!
This movie might not be so similar to the flick Stana mentioned on Femulate, but I always feel when ever money is involved it seems to have a strange but unrelenting way of talking. Unfortunately, so does society! No matter the people, no matter the conditions, no matter the story, there are always throngs of humans who are conflicted.
So, is it better that we trannies spend our money on ourselves FOR our admirers while keeping our secrets to ourselves? I think not. The world is teeming with admirers.
See ya out there!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
I read a post and it reminded me of . . . .
Actually I saw a cartoon and it made me recall how strongly I felt I was a female. It also made me think that maybe the reason I was so ready to do the oral thing for boys and men was because I was compensating. It never occurred to me, not once, that what I did was wrong. The thing I did also led me to beg men to let me sit on their hard-ons. That, if you don't already know, is unlike anything on Earth. It is more closely matched to going to heaven!
Simply said, and I know it's cliche, I've always really been a girl in a boy's body!
When I was very young I used to think I was just a mixed up boy who had a need to behave like a very bad girl. I couldn't explain it. I was used as an oral play thing for every male friend I had! And I had plenty of male friends!
To paraphrase their words; did they "give" me a good mouth fucking or did I "take it" from them? I know I willingly played a part, but did I control a guy's semen? Did they feel any better than me when we were done? I don't think so! I often told them not to jack off, that they could feed me their full loads of semen. I was called many dirty and disgusting names as they laughed. These boys were simply wrong about me and the oddest thing was, that I seemed to know it!
I learned about boys and sex pretty fast and invented a game I called, "Who wins what?"
In my mind, we both won!
I'm not a woman, never was and I will never really be one, but as a youngster I thought we had the best thing going ever, we had a secret! And yes, the guys didn't want to be seen talking to me in day-light back then, and in fact I had to be careful not to get beaten up just for being a queer! The make-up and dress, the "hook ups" and low morals have changed nothing, they still want to take me into the bathroom stalls and parked cars, but they don't want to be seen talking to me and I'm still fearful of getting beaten up or worse!
Guess, some things never change!
I know I'm not a man and I'm not a woman, I'm just a simple homosexual who enjoys being a MTF Transvestite behind closed doors. Once word gets out that I suck cock, like to get fucked, and wear dresses and make up, I'm usually scratched off most female lists.
I feel that's all for the best.
An honest female most likely wouldn't want to waste her time fooling with me in the boy mask I wear. I think it's far better to show the real me because everyone can see that I can't be the big, strong, masculine man. I'm just like any female soul, I'm hoping for love but resigned to being a slut and getting only the NSA sex!
In many ways I'm exactly like a real woman, I'm seen by most men as a partner for nothing more and what I do is not much different from faking a climax. Ladies you know who you are!
When I sashay up to a register, nails polished, mini-skirt showing lots of nylon covered thighs, fake lashes glued in place, my tiny black clutch in my hand, I hope to enjoy the fact that every man's eyes are on me. I also do not delude myself that some eyes are looking at me with lots of disgust! Many females who once thought I was a man might even hate.
I doubt I make a better looking woman than most GGs do and I'm very sorry, ladies, I didn't mean to hurt you by pretending to be a man. It's simply not my fault that I am what I am. I can not accept blame for having fooled you for so long, I blame society!
If I'm seen as somehow cruel, again, I'm sorry.
Simply said, and I know it's cliche, I've always really been a girl in a boy's body!
When I was very young I used to think I was just a mixed up boy who had a need to behave like a very bad girl. I couldn't explain it. I was used as an oral play thing for every male friend I had! And I had plenty of male friends!
To paraphrase their words; did they "give" me a good mouth fucking or did I "take it" from them? I know I willingly played a part, but did I control a guy's semen? Did they feel any better than me when we were done? I don't think so! I often told them not to jack off, that they could feed me their full loads of semen. I was called many dirty and disgusting names as they laughed. These boys were simply wrong about me and the oddest thing was, that I seemed to know it!
I learned about boys and sex pretty fast and invented a game I called, "Who wins what?"
In my mind, we both won!
I'm not a woman, never was and I will never really be one, but as a youngster I thought we had the best thing going ever, we had a secret! And yes, the guys didn't want to be seen talking to me in day-light back then, and in fact I had to be careful not to get beaten up just for being a queer! The make-up and dress, the "hook ups" and low morals have changed nothing, they still want to take me into the bathroom stalls and parked cars, but they don't want to be seen talking to me and I'm still fearful of getting beaten up or worse!
Guess, some things never change!
I know I'm not a man and I'm not a woman, I'm just a simple homosexual who enjoys being a MTF Transvestite behind closed doors. Once word gets out that I suck cock, like to get fucked, and wear dresses and make up, I'm usually scratched off most female lists.
I feel that's all for the best.
An honest female most likely wouldn't want to waste her time fooling with me in the boy mask I wear. I think it's far better to show the real me because everyone can see that I can't be the big, strong, masculine man. I'm just like any female soul, I'm hoping for love but resigned to being a slut and getting only the NSA sex!
In many ways I'm exactly like a real woman, I'm seen by most men as a partner for nothing more and what I do is not much different from faking a climax. Ladies you know who you are!
When I sashay up to a register, nails polished, mini-skirt showing lots of nylon covered thighs, fake lashes glued in place, my tiny black clutch in my hand, I hope to enjoy the fact that every man's eyes are on me. I also do not delude myself that some eyes are looking at me with lots of disgust! Many females who once thought I was a man might even hate.
I doubt I make a better looking woman than most GGs do and I'm very sorry, ladies, I didn't mean to hurt you by pretending to be a man. It's simply not my fault that I am what I am. I can not accept blame for having fooled you for so long, I blame society!
If I'm seen as somehow cruel, again, I'm sorry.
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